Senin, 20 Desember 2010
Minggu, 19 Desember 2010
Worry
I promise I won't go all - 'follow your leader we can save the world' on you but something I have just seen has made me want to ask you for help. I will stick a link to the full article bellow but in short the government are meeting in January with Internet providers to ask them to block all pornography automatically in the UK. You would be able to call your provider and opt-in, but there are rumors you may have to do it on a per site basis which will be a pain and will defiantly affect the industry one way or the other.
But more important is the simple fact that the government will be telling you what you are allowed to see and that's not right, how do you know when you are opting in that they are giving you access to everything, your environment will be monitored.
This is an invasion of privacy and the top of a potentially slippery slope - in fact more worryingly its probably at least 1/8 of the way down the slope as we have inadvertently lost so much already. A parents or legal guardians job is to care for their children which is why good Internet blocking software should be provided by all providers FREE of charge. But they have no right to limit the Internet in anyway even if you can opt in to be allowed to view. The kind of parents who expose their children to porn almost certainly neglect them in many other ways and also expose them to violent films games and countless other things that do damage, getting rid of the Internet porn bit wont help protect them.
What next, does the government block all bomb making sites and terrorism sites, no one can argue that that wont help society what normal person needs to know about that ? It will just help to protect us.
Then maybe some of the controversial theorists can go as they incite hatred- we only want to keep the public safe.
What worries me is that people will be reluctant to protest on this one as by standing up against this they will be labeled as pro porn sex obsessed perverts and who wants to openly protest against something that protects little children - think of the children!
I sent the following letter to my mp and I suggest you do the same. I am also forwarding it to Ed Vaizey, - Attention of Ed Vaizey, enquiries@culture.gov.uk. He also takes questions for a video response each month, especially send objections in the form of a question to - askedvaizey@culture.gsi.gov.uk.
Dear Ms Reeves,
I'm writing to you as I am alarmed by Ed Vaizey's plans to restrict certain Internet sites as standard practice throughout the UK, even if there is an opt-in clause openly available. I agree that children should not be exposed to pornography but feel that it is the responsibility of the parent or guardian to ensure this and would suggest that the government speak to Internet providers to ensure they offer a free Internet block should customers require it. It worries me that government would consider restricting the Internet despite speaking out against countries like China monitoring what its citizens are able to access. I believe that should this go ahead it will make it easier for further restrictions to follow under the banner of 'protecting the public' (the same sentiment that spawned America's draconian Patriot Act).
I would be grateful if you could advise me on how I can pursue this matter further and would be interested to learn your views on the subject.
Yours sincerely,
- you need to put your name address and contact at bottom or they don't read them.
Sorry if this is a bit pushy of me and I know some of you only come here for the sexy updates, I promise more will go up very soon but asking you guys is the only way I think I can help and even if only a few of you have time to write it might help.
xx
Heres the link to the article - http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/all-internet-porn-will-be-blocked-to-protect-children-under-uk-government-plan/story-e6frf7k6-1225973481287
But more important is the simple fact that the government will be telling you what you are allowed to see and that's not right, how do you know when you are opting in that they are giving you access to everything, your environment will be monitored.
This is an invasion of privacy and the top of a potentially slippery slope - in fact more worryingly its probably at least 1/8 of the way down the slope as we have inadvertently lost so much already. A parents or legal guardians job is to care for their children which is why good Internet blocking software should be provided by all providers FREE of charge. But they have no right to limit the Internet in anyway even if you can opt in to be allowed to view. The kind of parents who expose their children to porn almost certainly neglect them in many other ways and also expose them to violent films games and countless other things that do damage, getting rid of the Internet porn bit wont help protect them.
What next, does the government block all bomb making sites and terrorism sites, no one can argue that that wont help society what normal person needs to know about that ? It will just help to protect us.
Then maybe some of the controversial theorists can go as they incite hatred- we only want to keep the public safe.
What worries me is that people will be reluctant to protest on this one as by standing up against this they will be labeled as pro porn sex obsessed perverts and who wants to openly protest against something that protects little children - think of the children!
I sent the following letter to my mp and I suggest you do the same. I am also forwarding it to Ed Vaizey, - Attention of Ed Vaizey, enquiries@culture.gov.uk. He also takes questions for a video response each month, especially send objections in the form of a question to - askedvaizey@culture.gsi.gov.uk.
Dear Ms Reeves,
I'm writing to you as I am alarmed by Ed Vaizey's plans to restrict certain Internet sites as standard practice throughout the UK, even if there is an opt-in clause openly available. I agree that children should not be exposed to pornography but feel that it is the responsibility of the parent or guardian to ensure this and would suggest that the government speak to Internet providers to ensure they offer a free Internet block should customers require it. It worries me that government would consider restricting the Internet despite speaking out against countries like China monitoring what its citizens are able to access. I believe that should this go ahead it will make it easier for further restrictions to follow under the banner of 'protecting the public' (the same sentiment that spawned America's draconian Patriot Act).
I would be grateful if you could advise me on how I can pursue this matter further and would be interested to learn your views on the subject.
Yours sincerely,
- you need to put your name address and contact at bottom or they don't read them.
Sorry if this is a bit pushy of me and I know some of you only come here for the sexy updates, I promise more will go up very soon but asking you guys is the only way I think I can help and even if only a few of you have time to write it might help.
xx
Heres the link to the article - http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/all-internet-porn-will-be-blocked-to-protect-children-under-uk-government-plan/story-e6frf7k6-1225973481287
Jumat, 17 Desember 2010
Last naked news of the year
Well here you go your last naked news of the year (and hopefully your last dark one, I am hoping I get some money for Christmas so I can get some new bulbs for my studio lights as this weeks episode is a dark one and the silly thing is I filmed it at lunch time.)
Please don't let the dark put you off the most your likely going to get over Christmas are endless reports about how terrible snow is with a hint of recession at a guess so soak up the last actual news based report.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c2jGYlDPqk&feature=youtube_gdata
I know some of you might be confused not to see the Aso Mohammed Ibrahim story in my news run down but I honestly didn't see a way off approaching it comfortably. The problem with stories like these is that they lead to non racist people sounding racist and there is a definite argument for stories like these to not be reported on for such reasons. The usual suspects have done there best to show only one side of this case, a criminal immigrant murdering a 12 year old girl by running her down in his car, while on a driving ban and how he has not been deported because it would breach his human rights.
Now there is definite fault in a system that allows a man who arguably should have been taken to court and deported immediately after the incident in 2003 but was left undecided upon for 6 years. This creates an environment which opens up the case for him to be allowed to continue with his life here, as running over and killing a child must be alot to take in and deal with on a daily bases and he has since had two children with a British women and begun to rebuild his life. No I don't think the mans a saint and I certainly don't think it takes 6 years to consider a persons full punishment but I do think its dangerous to put bias stories out there and I was scared that in trying to readdress the balance I might trivialise the other side, which is a family grieving for an innocent child.
I have two shoots left this year so hope to be able to spoil you with a little rude something before I disappear down to Plymouth (weather allowing) to see my family for Christmas.
x
Please don't let the dark put you off the most your likely going to get over Christmas are endless reports about how terrible snow is with a hint of recession at a guess so soak up the last actual news based report.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c2jGYlDPqk&feature=youtube_gdata
I know some of you might be confused not to see the Aso Mohammed Ibrahim story in my news run down but I honestly didn't see a way off approaching it comfortably. The problem with stories like these is that they lead to non racist people sounding racist and there is a definite argument for stories like these to not be reported on for such reasons. The usual suspects have done there best to show only one side of this case, a criminal immigrant murdering a 12 year old girl by running her down in his car, while on a driving ban and how he has not been deported because it would breach his human rights.
Now there is definite fault in a system that allows a man who arguably should have been taken to court and deported immediately after the incident in 2003 but was left undecided upon for 6 years. This creates an environment which opens up the case for him to be allowed to continue with his life here, as running over and killing a child must be alot to take in and deal with on a daily bases and he has since had two children with a British women and begun to rebuild his life. No I don't think the mans a saint and I certainly don't think it takes 6 years to consider a persons full punishment but I do think its dangerous to put bias stories out there and I was scared that in trying to readdress the balance I might trivialise the other side, which is a family grieving for an innocent child.
I have two shoots left this year so hope to be able to spoil you with a little rude something before I disappear down to Plymouth (weather allowing) to see my family for Christmas.
x
Senin, 13 Desember 2010
New sexy update on Abby Winters
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Jumat, 10 Desember 2010
Some Friday updates
Demure ladies have put my first set up from Norwich on their sister site http://www.retro-glamour.com/ so please go and check the full set out - I am now booked to head back over in January for more hats, gloves and orgasms (that would make a brilliant website name if anyone goes and starts it, I will do you a free visit)
As its Friday its time for episode 3 of Bare Essentials on News, and it has been quite a busy week with some 'actual' news taking place. I must admit that it was hard to remain impassive this week as I have formed several (probably quite ignorant and judgmental) opinions of my own. The first one is regarding the student protests. I understand that its important for the masses as it were, to show when they are displeased by their government, we can't make it to easy for them to just run with what ever they like but what do marches on London achieve? Back when the first marches took place, the upper classes realised quite quickly how dependent they were on the working classes to provide them with sustenance from the land as back then if farmers wouldn't farm no one would eat. These days the threat isn't so big as we import such a high proportion of our food, fuel etc that although a prolonged strike would be an embarrassing inconvenience, we would easily get by. That's assuming the protest plans last more than a day. Early protesters had to walk to the capital meaning the country would shut down on some level depending on the group who were marching and their numbers, where as in modern society you can hop from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours. Protesters attracted rioters and because of their pre planned disrespectful behaviour I found myself immediately switched off away from the students cause which I know is wrong as its an important issue, but I see protesting almost as a self indulgence. I know these ideas are quite strong and defiantly simplistic and you may now think of me in a different light but I like to be honest. I personally think we are almost further away from being a true democracy than we were in the past. Sure we can vote, we can choose between three near identical party's, we are free to march and be ignored but I cant see a way of breaching the top, even from the inside. Do you not often get the feeling that the outcome is often pre decided, that the debates are just for show? As a vague example when I was in six form the school decided to smarten the sixformers up, who had all looked forward to being able to attend school out of uniform for the final two years. They wanted to ban denim and we were invited to debates and take part in a vote, yet denim was still band and you can imagine how we voted. That was my first experience of how those in power like to make those they hold power over feel important by encouraging them to voice their opinions, when in reality the decision is already made. The hope is that each individual will feel happy that at least they got to put their point across in a fair debate and if your really lucky that the individual will conclude that opinions must have been swung over against their view point, but in a fair and open way. For similar reasons I am curious about the reinvestigation into Jullian Assanges alleged sexual assaults by a new source although I am open to the idea that co incidents do happen.
Without anyone getting cross I would love to know what you think? I was on the Abbey Winters forums last night and was amazed by how polite everybody is on there especially when they are disagreeing an unheard of on the British boards. There is an on going debate between diferent groups with some liking the softer nude content and others enjoying the harder more orgasm driven content. Now the site has a good mix of both and the variety is something alot of members praise but people will argue the balance has fallen one way or the other depending on whats just been updated however not once have I seen a disrespectful comment. I am keeping quite for now as many people are angry about the site using a few porn stars not just amatures, as its predominantly an amature site which is what give the scenes their real quality. If I was a baker and went to AW to shoot I would be leaving my day job to have a real sexual experience, so long as I'm honest and open does it really matter that in fact I'm a porn star rather than a baker? I hope not as ~I loved being over there and felt I got a great deal out of it but we will see.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sG8L383jJ8&feature=youtube_gdata
Take care for now i'll write soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As its Friday its time for episode 3 of Bare Essentials on News, and it has been quite a busy week with some 'actual' news taking place. I must admit that it was hard to remain impassive this week as I have formed several (probably quite ignorant and judgmental) opinions of my own. The first one is regarding the student protests. I understand that its important for the masses as it were, to show when they are displeased by their government, we can't make it to easy for them to just run with what ever they like but what do marches on London achieve? Back when the first marches took place, the upper classes realised quite quickly how dependent they were on the working classes to provide them with sustenance from the land as back then if farmers wouldn't farm no one would eat. These days the threat isn't so big as we import such a high proportion of our food, fuel etc that although a prolonged strike would be an embarrassing inconvenience, we would easily get by. That's assuming the protest plans last more than a day. Early protesters had to walk to the capital meaning the country would shut down on some level depending on the group who were marching and their numbers, where as in modern society you can hop from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours. Protesters attracted rioters and because of their pre planned disrespectful behaviour I found myself immediately switched off away from the students cause which I know is wrong as its an important issue, but I see protesting almost as a self indulgence. I know these ideas are quite strong and defiantly simplistic and you may now think of me in a different light but I like to be honest. I personally think we are almost further away from being a true democracy than we were in the past. Sure we can vote, we can choose between three near identical party's, we are free to march and be ignored but I cant see a way of breaching the top, even from the inside. Do you not often get the feeling that the outcome is often pre decided, that the debates are just for show? As a vague example when I was in six form the school decided to smarten the sixformers up, who had all looked forward to being able to attend school out of uniform for the final two years. They wanted to ban denim and we were invited to debates and take part in a vote, yet denim was still band and you can imagine how we voted. That was my first experience of how those in power like to make those they hold power over feel important by encouraging them to voice their opinions, when in reality the decision is already made. The hope is that each individual will feel happy that at least they got to put their point across in a fair debate and if your really lucky that the individual will conclude that opinions must have been swung over against their view point, but in a fair and open way. For similar reasons I am curious about the reinvestigation into Jullian Assanges alleged sexual assaults by a new source although I am open to the idea that co incidents do happen.
Without anyone getting cross I would love to know what you think? I was on the Abbey Winters forums last night and was amazed by how polite everybody is on there especially when they are disagreeing an unheard of on the British boards. There is an on going debate between diferent groups with some liking the softer nude content and others enjoying the harder more orgasm driven content. Now the site has a good mix of both and the variety is something alot of members praise but people will argue the balance has fallen one way or the other depending on whats just been updated however not once have I seen a disrespectful comment. I am keeping quite for now as many people are angry about the site using a few porn stars not just amatures, as its predominantly an amature site which is what give the scenes their real quality. If I was a baker and went to AW to shoot I would be leaving my day job to have a real sexual experience, so long as I'm honest and open does it really matter that in fact I'm a porn star rather than a baker? I hope not as ~I loved being over there and felt I got a great deal out of it but we will see.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sG8L383jJ8&feature=youtube_gdata
Take care for now i'll write soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Selasa, 07 Desember 2010
Demure Ladies
Yes I was surprised that I was demure to but I had an amazing day trip yesterday and I'm really proud of the pictures I have seen. It was a nice early start to get all the way down to Norwich in time for our shoot but thankfully everyone was staying clear of the roads, so I had a nice clean run down.
The site has a retro theme which meant I got to wear hats!!! There were also long silk gloves which, as is becoming a habit of mine, soon ended up inside me. I was thrilled to get some pictures mailed straight away and here are a few of my favourites - please be warned I am hairy in these, if that's not your bag and you don't want to spoil your ideas about me, please look away now (its going in January).
The best part about being in that part of the world was that I got to surprise my grandparents and crash a bed for the night and as a result I feel like I have been on a mini holiday. I love my grandparents dearly but until this visit didn't know much about them. We sat and talked for hours last night (while taking on our body weight in tea) and it was so rewarding. I have friends who can trace their ancestry back a 1000 years where as I have never got past; mum, dad, grandparents stop and always felt I was missing out on some sense of self. Well I now know I am part everything but mostly very hard working northern ship builders and I do feel very proud. My granddad designed submarines in the war, was then an investigator into deaths and accidents on boats, was once employed to advise the founder of Scientology (who is apparently weird, he was helping with ships not the religion) and was a senior advisor on an episode of Kaviner Q.C called, 'Dead Reckoning' to give them a plausible shipping accident to solve and my nan grew up in a house hold that housed travelling stars like Will Rogers. I'm organising another Demure shoot for next year and will take my camera down and get some of these stories on tape so the family always have a record. If you have an opportunity to do similar I definitely recommend it, (with your own family not mine).
I am about to go to bed full of cake, biscuits and pop all lovingly given by my nan. Its funny when I found out how hard generations of my family have worked to better themselves I apologised to my grandad for going backwards and not striving to go up another level, as porn is a labour of love, the pays not going to buy me some mansions any time soon. But he said, that its not about getting that extra qualification and earning more than the last lot, its about being happy -' if you can support yourself and are happy and content and loved, you have done what is needed.' They obviously don't know about my job, I often feel bad as my nan thinks I have been mostly unemployed for the last 3 years as I don't like lying extensively to them but other members of my family know and aren't to impressed and its silly to rock the boat. This is the closet I will ever get to getting their acceptance and it felt great. I am a very happy, slightly over sensitive positive me - its going to be a good week people, no more moody Masie and lots of action. xxxx
The site has a retro theme which meant I got to wear hats!!! There were also long silk gloves which, as is becoming a habit of mine, soon ended up inside me. I was thrilled to get some pictures mailed straight away and here are a few of my favourites - please be warned I am hairy in these, if that's not your bag and you don't want to spoil your ideas about me, please look away now (its going in January).
The best part about being in that part of the world was that I got to surprise my grandparents and crash a bed for the night and as a result I feel like I have been on a mini holiday. I love my grandparents dearly but until this visit didn't know much about them. We sat and talked for hours last night (while taking on our body weight in tea) and it was so rewarding. I have friends who can trace their ancestry back a 1000 years where as I have never got past; mum, dad, grandparents stop and always felt I was missing out on some sense of self. Well I now know I am part everything but mostly very hard working northern ship builders and I do feel very proud. My granddad designed submarines in the war, was then an investigator into deaths and accidents on boats, was once employed to advise the founder of Scientology (who is apparently weird, he was helping with ships not the religion) and was a senior advisor on an episode of Kaviner Q.C called, 'Dead Reckoning' to give them a plausible shipping accident to solve and my nan grew up in a house hold that housed travelling stars like Will Rogers. I'm organising another Demure shoot for next year and will take my camera down and get some of these stories on tape so the family always have a record. If you have an opportunity to do similar I definitely recommend it, (with your own family not mine).
I am about to go to bed full of cake, biscuits and pop all lovingly given by my nan. Its funny when I found out how hard generations of my family have worked to better themselves I apologised to my grandad for going backwards and not striving to go up another level, as porn is a labour of love, the pays not going to buy me some mansions any time soon. But he said, that its not about getting that extra qualification and earning more than the last lot, its about being happy -' if you can support yourself and are happy and content and loved, you have done what is needed.' They obviously don't know about my job, I often feel bad as my nan thinks I have been mostly unemployed for the last 3 years as I don't like lying extensively to them but other members of my family know and aren't to impressed and its silly to rock the boat. This is the closet I will ever get to getting their acceptance and it felt great. I am a very happy, slightly over sensitive positive me - its going to be a good week people, no more moody Masie and lots of action. xxxx
Minggu, 05 Desember 2010
Chav me!
I have pulled my self together and feel a little sheepish about my previous rant but really warmed by the response, I will write back in time but such things need thought and this is just a quick update.
I wanted to first tell you that a lovely stranger helped me dig my car out today and if he believes in such things will now go straight to heaven. Luckily I had got stuck next to an allotment so he had spades etc to hand - I love it when people go out of their way to be nice when they set to gain nothing, it always moves me.
Secondly another of my chav scenes is now up on chavly court. Its one a did a while back but its one of my favourites so far. They gave me £5 to go and get a cheap bottle of wine and then asked me to act drunk and have fun, so I sucked it like a big cock and put it straight in my pussy to great effect.
Here's the trailer for you, enjoy. xx
Chav Me x
I wanted to first tell you that a lovely stranger helped me dig my car out today and if he believes in such things will now go straight to heaven. Luckily I had got stuck next to an allotment so he had spades etc to hand - I love it when people go out of their way to be nice when they set to gain nothing, it always moves me.
Secondly another of my chav scenes is now up on chavly court. Its one a did a while back but its one of my favourites so far. They gave me £5 to go and get a cheap bottle of wine and then asked me to act drunk and have fun, so I sucked it like a big cock and put it straight in my pussy to great effect.
Here's the trailer for you, enjoy. xx
Chav Me x
Jumat, 03 Desember 2010
Bare Essentials episode 2
Sorry this weeks a dark episode as it was dark by the time i'd got all my outdoor filming done but I hope you like it none the less.
Heres a link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8aWZZJic_E
Heres a link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8aWZZJic_E
A moan in the snow
Sorry this is a moan in 3 parts, I was trying to get some higer quality video footage on here but that meant I had to cut it into chucks inorder for google to cope with it.
Sorry to have just moaned at you. I have just re watched what I said and I want to add a few things. I don't want you to go away from this thinking that one guys comments on you tube sparked a break down, he is entitled to his mostly true opinion and other than being a bit shocked that he took the time to find my video so he could be mean about it (how sad) I don't really feel anything. I do feel a bit thoughtful about what my life choices reveal about me though.
Porn is quite a safe place to be, if you work hard and turn up to everything you book no one is going to say anything horrible to you, its quite an insular group. But I chose to go the next step and put myself on youtube, a medium I knew is full of trolls and people with nothing better to do than voice negativity, on top of the people who will be brutally honest. What part of me as a person would deliberately do that? I have friends working on a youtube project at the moment, what kind of people am I friends with that they to are putting themselves up for a fall?
I don't have any answers, maybe I'm just a silly little girl who thinks that all it takes to have an easy life is a few videos on line and someone will come and tell me that I'm the next big thing and I'll never have to worry about money again. I hope that's not it. During the summer I put a post up on BGAFD asking if anyone had any work going in Birmingham as I needed to visit Kaz B and couldn't afford the petrol. I got a very angry message from a guy saying it was pathetic that I couldn't afford the fuel, why didn't I get a life, live in the real world and go and get a proper job. I didn't say anything at the time but what I wanted to say was why should I? I pay full taxes, do not get any government aid what so ever and never have done, I'm probably entitled to all sorts of things because my income is so low but I don't think its right that other people should pay for my choices but equally they are my choices. Its my choice to be poor and struggle with bills and food from time to time as I'd rather be poor and have the time to be myself than be richer, stable even and spend my life working in an office (I tried that for a year and it nearly did me in).
If I'm honest I probably have daddy issues (Freud eat your hear out) or something and just need to be praised. I was one of those people who was very very happy at school. I certainly didn't fit in with everybody else and was not one of the cool kids but I loved working hard and being praised by my teachers. In school I was told what to do, had to do it, then got praised for my efforts - the real world has been a real shock as now I have to know what I want to do, motivate myself to do it and then tell myself I have done a good job as no one else is paid to tell me anymore. That's been my problem since 18, I have no idea what I wanted to do. As I said I love porn, porn has filled a huge whole in my life but I'm getting to the stage where I will need more money than none if I ever want a family and I will be to old to do this soon so what comes next?
OK moan over, I promise. Things will be fine because they are always fine, Decembers just a bad month as there's alot of obligatory spending expected of me at the end and I'm yet to work out how I'm going to do it this year. You are all so lovely bothering to read my posts and especially those that take the time to add comments (my praise fix). I think that's what I really want fame wise, I don't want to be famous enough to be bothered, I just want a few people to care about my thoughts and opinions so I feel less 'dull' with my clothes on :o) xxx
Shaytards x
Sorry to have just moaned at you. I have just re watched what I said and I want to add a few things. I don't want you to go away from this thinking that one guys comments on you tube sparked a break down, he is entitled to his mostly true opinion and other than being a bit shocked that he took the time to find my video so he could be mean about it (how sad) I don't really feel anything. I do feel a bit thoughtful about what my life choices reveal about me though.
Porn is quite a safe place to be, if you work hard and turn up to everything you book no one is going to say anything horrible to you, its quite an insular group. But I chose to go the next step and put myself on youtube, a medium I knew is full of trolls and people with nothing better to do than voice negativity, on top of the people who will be brutally honest. What part of me as a person would deliberately do that? I have friends working on a youtube project at the moment, what kind of people am I friends with that they to are putting themselves up for a fall?
I don't have any answers, maybe I'm just a silly little girl who thinks that all it takes to have an easy life is a few videos on line and someone will come and tell me that I'm the next big thing and I'll never have to worry about money again. I hope that's not it. During the summer I put a post up on BGAFD asking if anyone had any work going in Birmingham as I needed to visit Kaz B and couldn't afford the petrol. I got a very angry message from a guy saying it was pathetic that I couldn't afford the fuel, why didn't I get a life, live in the real world and go and get a proper job. I didn't say anything at the time but what I wanted to say was why should I? I pay full taxes, do not get any government aid what so ever and never have done, I'm probably entitled to all sorts of things because my income is so low but I don't think its right that other people should pay for my choices but equally they are my choices. Its my choice to be poor and struggle with bills and food from time to time as I'd rather be poor and have the time to be myself than be richer, stable even and spend my life working in an office (I tried that for a year and it nearly did me in).
If I'm honest I probably have daddy issues (Freud eat your hear out) or something and just need to be praised. I was one of those people who was very very happy at school. I certainly didn't fit in with everybody else and was not one of the cool kids but I loved working hard and being praised by my teachers. In school I was told what to do, had to do it, then got praised for my efforts - the real world has been a real shock as now I have to know what I want to do, motivate myself to do it and then tell myself I have done a good job as no one else is paid to tell me anymore. That's been my problem since 18, I have no idea what I wanted to do. As I said I love porn, porn has filled a huge whole in my life but I'm getting to the stage where I will need more money than none if I ever want a family and I will be to old to do this soon so what comes next?
OK moan over, I promise. Things will be fine because they are always fine, Decembers just a bad month as there's alot of obligatory spending expected of me at the end and I'm yet to work out how I'm going to do it this year. You are all so lovely bothering to read my posts and especially those that take the time to add comments (my praise fix). I think that's what I really want fame wise, I don't want to be famous enough to be bothered, I just want a few people to care about my thoughts and opinions so I feel less 'dull' with my clothes on :o) xxx
Shaytards x
Rabu, 01 Desember 2010
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